You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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