I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
