Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
