barbara walters just said penis...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
