So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize