Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
