I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
