PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
