your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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