When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize