I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
