She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize