Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
