Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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