he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize