We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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