I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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