we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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