didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
