Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
