check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
