WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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