how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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