Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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