You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
