we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
