just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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