so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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