so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
