Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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