You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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