Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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