You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
