i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize