I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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