things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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