Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
