wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
