We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
