Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
