Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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