Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
