I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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