oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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