Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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