Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
