): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
