You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
