white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
