I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
