We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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