The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
