I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
