i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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