You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
