Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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