know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
