erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize