That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
