porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
