She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
