i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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