I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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