oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
