and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize