Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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