The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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